Roseanne for President 2012

by Troy Williams

Roseanne Barr is back and this time she has her sights set on the Oval Office.  Recently on KRCL’s RadioActive we spoke about her Green Party presidential aspirations, solutions to the Israeli-Palestinian conflict and how to best implement “resource based feminist economics” from the White House.

Podcast the entire interview here:

Troy Williams: You are running for president?

Roseanne Barr: Yes, I’m seriously running for president.  I’ve been flirting with the idea for about twelve years.  I first started joking about it.  But now I’m serious as a heart attack.  In fact, I’m even on the California ballot.

TW: This is the first state in the nation to have you on the ballot?

RB: Yes, it’s very exciting Troy!  Growing up there in Salt Lake City, Utah I used to dream as a child about running for president — and winning.

TW: Who knew a girl from 9th and 9th SLC would make it so big?

RB: (laughs) I’m fulfilling a childhood dream.  I’m trying to tell the truth to the voters as I see it.  That’s what is important to me.

TW: Now when you were a young girl did you have a personal revelation that you would save the Constitution as it was hanging by a thread?

RB: Yes, I really did Troy.  I did.  I knew as a young girl that they were trying to get Mitt Romney in there – and I knew Mitt Romney was not the right person.  But you know, that doesn’t mean Mitt Romney can’t do good things.  He sure can.

TW: We would hope so.

RB: I would like to make an appeal to him right here on your show — I would like to appeal to Elder Romney and ask him to please use his capacities as the CEO of Bain Capital to forgive the debts of the Lamanite Nations in the United States America.

TW: That would be powerful.

RB: I’m challenging him to live his beliefs.  To put his money where his mouth is and to reverse the grotesque poverty that the people of his most holy book are living in right now in America.

TW: Right, because the promise is, that the Lamanites, (as some Mormons believe are the Native Americans), will one day “blossom as a rose”.

RB: We need to get that going.  I’ve got a lot of ideas of how we can hasten and activate the Messianic Age.  And I know that my message really rings from mountain to mountain in Salt Lake Valley, where there are so many who think like me.

TW: Yes, and there are many.

RB: They should vote for me and not Mitt Romney!  Because I understand the Constitution.  I am a job creator not a job destroyer.  I am for small business and family farms, unlike Mitt Romney who is for destroying family farms and small business.

TW: As children growing up in Salt Lake City we learned about the “Four R’s of Repentance”.  When you sin or hurt somebody you have to recognize what you did was wrong, make restitution and feel remorse. Let’s talk about the information that has come forward about Mitt Romney — that he was a bully as a teenager.

RB: He bullied the gay kid.  But it’s so ordinary.  Let’s really talk about that.  A lot of people say “so what” because it’s so ordinary to be a bully and a Republican.

TW: Tell the story about your brother Ben, because he was bullied pretty fiercely as a kid.

RB: Yes he was.  By the time he was nine he had his nose broken nine times in Salt Lake City.  He was beaten up almost every day from his way home from school because he was effeminate.  Effeminate!  And he was beaten up by really effeminate males.  And you know what Troy?  I was also bullied on my way home from school because I was a fat girl.  And because I was a smart fat girl. They didn’t like that either.

TW: And a Jew!

RB: And they didn’t doubly like a smart fat Jewish loudmouth girl in a town where you are supposed to be ladylike.  It was very difficult but it forged me into who I am today.

TW: Do you have a Super PAC?

RB: No, I’m trying to get away from money.  I’m trying to run a campaign with the least amount of money as I possibly can. I’ve run my campaign with my own money.  I’m not going to overspend.  I don’t think it should cost a dime to run for president no matter what party you are running for, because then you can be bought.  This is a glitch in the system that needs to be reversed and corrected right away.

TW: Of all the candidates out there, what makes Roseanne Barr’s platform stand out from the rest?

RB: My candidacy and platform I thought up all by myself. I didn’t get eight hundred lawyers involved.

TW: No think tanks?

RB: I thought it up myself with my own conscience.

TW: No focus groups?

RB: In deep mediation trying to live my beliefs. You can read all of my solutions, critique them and make them better if you think you can, at  We are intelligent enough now in our new century to be solutions based and to leave behind old systems that are obsolete and no longer work to serve the interests of the majority of the people in this country.

TW: That gets us to the concept of “Roseannearchy”.  You describe this as “resourced based feminist economics”.  What does that mean?

RB: It means that we value the right things.  It means that the value in being able to eat healthy food and drink clean water is higher on the priority list than making money for people like Mitt Romney.  It’s about solutions over profits.  I also think it’s a great synthesis of libertarian and green values — if molded and synthesized correctly could actually solve the problems in an efficient and timely matter, which I think we are long overdue for.

TW: That’s a radical idea – to bring together libertarian and socialist ideas.

RB: I have to say that all of those ideas were forged right there in Salt Lake City when I did read about real Utah history.  In fact, the Utah Valley was based on those kinds of principles.

TW: Those radical Mormons were communitarian utopianists.

RB: Yes, they had it right. Except for polygamy and their patriarchal hierarchical system based on slavery which they’ll actually have to let go.  When they do that it will be a fantastic day in Utah and everywhere else on Earth.

TW: You are not only running for President, but you are also running for Prime Minister of Israel.

RB: I used to say that but now I realize it’s no longer necessary.

TW: Ok, update me.

RB: I realized if that I became the president of these United States of America I would in fact be the de facto partner in the position of prime minister and president of Israel. I would have direct on the president and law making bodies there just by being virtue of being President of the United States.  I only have to be president and I can solve all the problems over there in only thirty days.

TW: You are going to solve the Palestinian-Israeli conflict in thirty days? Roseanne take me through that!

RB: I’m going to get together with all of the grandmothers on all sides of the issue and we are going to figure out how we can demand peace of our men and younger citizens, because we are tired of it.  We are going to call for a moral restructuring of all government.  The only problem is a slight adjustment of hearts and minds toward peace rather than fighting obsolete battles that have no place on earth in this new century.

TW: You say that this is all about the 1%.

RB: The same 1% is the same 1% everywhere.  Let that sink into your head.  It’s the same 1% in Greece and in Israel and in the United States and everywhere else that uses the Queen’s stock market.  It’s a system to wage war for profit and nothing else.  And also a way of enforcing an obsolete system of slavery which also needs to go.  I would be America’s first non-politician president who is a visionary and an artist.  And I think that would be really good for the United States for a change.  We need to step out of a patriarchal, oppressive system.

Podcast the remainder of the interview to see Roseanne’s plans for relocating the United Nations – her plans for gay marriage – and who she plans to appoint to her cabinet.   

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About Troy Williams

Troy is currently the public affairs director of KRCL 90.9 FM in Salt Lake City and the executive producer of RadioActive. His work has been featured in The Nation, Interview Magazine, Huffington Post, The Gay Times and OUT Magazine. He also co-wrote the one-woman show, The Passion of Sister Dottie S. Dixon. In 2011 Troy will appear in the new Errol Morris documentary, Tabloid.
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